codecataclysm.org

Source Code

source — Repos

Bulletins

sucks

surveillance

npm

frameworks

Appendix

misc

rituals

fqa

Community Documentation

wiki — Community Documentation (stub)

wiki-things — Things (stub)

wiki-other-things — Other Things (stub)

wiki-disambiguation — Disambiguation (unhelpful)

wiki-vandalism — Vandalism (accurate)

Site Navigation

about — installation guide you weren’t seeking download — documentation annex disguised as mirror list docs — legacy sentences documentation — nonlinear reference manual — cookbook license guide — redirect that refuses

Principles

We believe software that hides behind layers of frameworks and telemetry is broken by design. Any dependency we cannot read is a liability we refuse.

The Unix philosophy is not nostalgia but rather a contract: do one thing well, speak plain text, and compose cleanly. Longevity comes from boring tools, short code paths, and silence by default. Worse is better.

Links

Source: git.codecataclysm.org

Contact: mail@codecataclysm.org

PGP: Key

Meanwhile Already Running

…because of course you arrive during postmortem hour. the clock is wrong on purpose.

Newsfeed, if you can call it that

• “Still More Secure Than Whatever You’re Using” — Posted ∞ days ago and yes the infinity symbol is literal
• “CVE-2024-XXXXX: Not Our Problem, You Compiled It Wrong” — Posted [REDACTED] because FOIA doesn’t cover my terminal
• “New Release: 7.⚡ ‘Cognitive Dissonance’” — Changelog: “yes.” nothing else. live with it
• “We Removed 47 Features. You’re Welcome.” — Posted 1993-13-32 during that firmware eclipse
• “Audit Complete: Everything is Terrible, Especially You” — Posted at 00:61 UTC-π because timezones are optional now

System Requirements (you won’t pass)

ARCHITECTURE: probably not yours
RAM: all of it
SWAP: triple your RAM
DISK: encrypted or wrong
NETWORK CARD: realtek isn't real
PATIENCE: mandatory
READING COMPREHENSION: see above

Downloads Nobody Earns

• install.img — 4.7GB (mostly zeros, enjoy the entropy mirage)
• miniroot.fs — “mini” (2.1GB, Schrödinger-compressed)
• signature file larger than the image because paranoia scales
• Mirrors?? pick your poison:
  • “Primary” — times out like Evangelion episode 26 but louder
  • “Fast Mirror” — 10KB/s, please savor each byte
  • “Local” — 127.0.0.1 (loop faith)
  • “Quantum Mirror” — loads 50% of the time if Lain approves

Documentation Headers That Bite

• Installation Guide — first line: Don't. next line redacted by the committee
• Hardware Compatibility — ThinkPad X200, maybe written in pencil
• Networking Tutorial — man ifconfig but copied wrong to keep you humble
• FAQ — every answer is “Read the man page” even the questions about snacks
• Getting Started — loops into Getting Stopped because momentum offends us
• User Guide — password protected; the password lives inside the User Guide; file not found (probably)

Random Scatter / glitch residue

• angry ASCII pufferfish:

  
  ><(((*>  // hiss hiss? no. h̷i̷s̷s̷
  

• $ doas rm -rf /your/expectations
• uptime records are vanity metrics. cite 1917-2038 compliance table.
• build instructions reference tools that never shipped outside Bell Labs dreams
• Dijkstra allegedly whispered “Simplicity is a prerequisite” right before the incident and we took it personally
• <marquee>render error: [object Object]</marquee> because your browser deserved it

Security Advisory, hold your breath

SEVERITY: YES
AFFECTED: YOU
PATCH: MAYBE
WORKAROUND: UNPLUG IT
CVE: WE DON'T BELIEVE IN CVEs
DISCLOSURE: FULL/NULL/SCHRÖDINGER'S

Philosophy? fine.

CODE REMOVAL STATISTICS THIS RELEASE:
+ 471 lines added
- 28,847 lines removed
NET HAPPINESS: ++

FEATURES REMOVED:
- Bluetooth (it was bad)
- That thing you liked
- Backward compatibility with [REDACTED]
- Hope

Fake Technical Details (completely legit)

MEMORY MANAGEMENT: W^X^Y^Z (don't graph it)
STACK PROTECTION: Canaries (they're dead)
PLEDGE(): pledge("stdio rpath wpath cpath dpath tmppath inet fattr chown flock unix dns getpw sendfd recvfd tape tty proc exec prot_exec settime ps vminfo id pf route wroute audio video bpf unveil error NULL")
UNVEIL(): no

User Testimonials pulled from the void

• “It works but I’m not happy about it” — anonymous handler 0x44
• “なぜ” — jp user (timestamp 2024-07-07T07:07:07.777Z maybe?)
• “The installer called me names” — new user still here somehow
• “I’ve been using it for 10 years and still don’t understand” — veteran, badge revoked
• ”[SEGMENTATION FAULT]” — everyone eventually, call it mentorship

Installation Warnings You Will Ignore

BEFORE INSTALLING:
☐ You have backups
☐ You have read all 47 man pages
☐ You understand pain is temporary
☐ Your disk is encrypted with at least 7 algorithms
☐ You've accepted your fate
☐ You know what ed(1) is

Mirrors ranked by distrust

MIRRORS (in order of distrust):
- somebody's basement in Romania [SLOW]
- University server (expires randomly) [DOWN]
- AWS (we're not happy about it) [EXPENSIVE]
- That box under Ted's desk [TED'S GONE]
- Gopher only mirror [gopher://]
- Torrent (seed ratio: 0.1) [ETHICAL?]

Build Ritual, chanting required

$ make build
Error: universe not configured correctly
$ make universe
Error: insufficient entropy
$ make entropy
Error: that's not how thermodynamics works
$ sudo make
Error: sudo is bloat, use doas
$ doas make
Error: no

Community, loosely defined

• IRC — “IRC is still typing indicators” and also still the fire alarm
• Mailing Lists — “Email was a mistake” we keep making
• Forums — “Forums are just slow IRC” with worse threading
• Bug Reports — “It’s not a bug, you’re holding it wrong”
• Discord — “Absolutely not” 204 response
• Matrix — “It’s just Discord with extra steps” plus config files that lie

Footer filed under spite

"Compatibility means doing the same wrong thing twice"
Last updated: [object Object]
Best viewed with: ed(1)
Powered by: Spite
License: ISC (It's Still Complicated)
Copyright 1980-2038 The Void

Index of indexes (meta enough?)

• primary index: you are here
• secondary index: manual#contact-grid (grid counts as index, argue later)
• tertiary index: download#release-matrix masquerading as documentation
• quaternary index: /docs pointing at sentences in a table
• breadcrumbs? see the header, they’re lying to you

Another set of requirements (why not contradict again)

ARCH: 68k, ideally from a basement rack
RAM: 2GB exactly or installer loops
SWAP: yes, but only if carved from tmpfs
DISK: none; boot from tape while chanting
PATIENCE: counted in moon phases
COMPREHENSION: verify via FAQ section 7.3 quiz

Important warning hiding under everything

Warning: tutorial starts on download.md page 3; pages 1-2 are in manual and guide respectively.