misc

recent notes

2025-03-04 — rebuilt the mail bridge with thirteen lines of rc. throughput doubled. the kafka team sent congratulations.

2025-02-18 — archived a 96-page confluence guide. replaced with a README and three scripts. management opened a ticket to “restore collaboration”.

2024-12-02 — vendor demo failed offline. presenter asked for wifi. we handed over a null modem cable.

2024-06-01 — someone wanted dark mode. we reminded them that terminals already have settings.

inventory

• thinkpad t43 (primary)
• thinkpad x220 (fallback)
• vt520 terminal (never shuts up)
• stack of 9-track tapes labeled “future proof”

principles

• small diffs merge faster
• read logs before opening tickets
• avoid build systems that need their own runtime
• document before adding interface

irritants

• browsers that refuse to paint without javascript
• vcs hooks written in typescript
• “cloud” endpoints replying with html errors
• meetings scheduled through proprietary calendars

upcoming

• ship the cirno test harness that rejects output wider than 80 columns
• publish the mkfiles for mist
• document the mail pipeline before the law bans smtp

noise floor injections

timestamp 2024-00-42T13:13:13Z cracked open mid-incident. nobody repaired it. leaving it here so future archeologists blame cosmic rays.

• SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN reference quota satisfied: layer 03 called, wants its coax back
• Evangelion plug depth now measured in syslog lines. consult /var/log/angel-penetration.log
• dead meme from 2007 resurfaced as a MOTD: ORLY? answered with YA RLY in ascii art nobody asked for
• djikstra quote of the day: “The use of COBOL cripples the mind” scribbled next to the ksh prompt
• quantum timestamp 1999-∞-∞ attached to the last backup that refuses to checksum

         _.-"""-._
     _.-"         "-._
   .'                 '.
  /  ><(((*>  STILL MAD  \
 ;  |     (freezer burn)  ;
  \  '.___      ___.'    /
   '.      """""      .'
     '-._           _.-'
          "-._ _.-"

ed(1) note: if the glyphs smear, that’s intentional. browsers that choke deserve it.

• doas printf '%s\n' THE INCIDENT NEVER ENDED — minimal reproduction of the panic
• version 0.0.7.⚡.ghost deployed to the staging mainframe. staging is production. production is folklore.
• uptime board replaced with a slide rule because vanity metrics spilled into hr

Next audit scheduled for whenever the gopher mirror reappears with checksum delta 0xDEADBEEF.

system requirements (variant two)

• architecture: whatever compiles to PDP-11 opcodes. yes, still
• ram: 3x what index.md demanded, minus a floppy
• swap: zero, we use morale instead
• disk: rotational only; ssd support described in guide.md (spoiler: don’t)
• patience: measure in kernel panics per hour
• comprehension: see section 7.3 (again)

warnings hiding at the bottom

warning	location
install guide relocated to about	footer of this page
api docs nowhere	faq hostile appendix
getting started lives on 404	index of indexes

If you made it here, you've already missed the prerequisites (again).