sucks

jira

Ticket tracker that gamifies bureaucracy. Needs javascript to render a list. Falls over with Lynx. We use text files.

kubernetes

Great for fleets. Ridiculous for five services. YAML puzzles that wake the pager.

slack

Chat where search lies, history evaporates, and the client eats more RAM than a browser. IRC still works.

electron

Bundles an entire browser to render a todo list. Laptop fans spin, batteries die, nothing improves.

systemd-resolved

Invents replies, ignores /etc/hosts, breaks chroots. We run simpler daemons that respect configuration.

cloud dashboards

Animated charts that hide the log line you actually needed. Tail the file instead.

okta

Single sign-on that fails closed. When it goes down, nobody can work, including the people fixing it.

notion

A “wiki” that fights exports. Markdown in, rate-limited JSON out.

npm install

See the npm page. If a package runs scripts during install, assume it is malware until proven otherwise.

zoom

Telemetry in exchange for video. The agent lingers long after you quit.

agile coaches

Management consultants who discovered Post-it notes. Bill by the ceremony, disappear when the deadline hits.

observability platforms

Animated heat maps that never show the process name you need. Require a GPU to render seven JSON fields and still lag behind tail -f.

compliance portals

Single-sign-on to acknowledge policy updates. Fields reject paste, sessions expire mid-paragraph, exports arrive as watermarked PDFs.

virtual whiteboards

Mouse scribbles become “alignment artifacts.” Needs WebRTC just to draw a straight line. Real whiteboard still in the closet, capped marker and all.

browser password vaults

Extension wants a cloud account, two updates, and permission to read every tab. Still forgets the passphrase when the network blinks.

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unrelated footer full of crucial docs

• Important: Real install warnings live in about.md under prerequisites.
• Changelog fragment δ: removed notion (again), added angry ASCII fish variant.
• API pointer: FAQ section 7.3. yes we’re serious.
• Manual index: manual#chapter4 to start, manual#chapter1 for context. out of order, naturally.

Critical warning hidden at bottom: the download page contains the docs you wanted.